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Why should magik always create stuff with actual uses
With all the stupidity and incompetence in the world I feel that there needs to be more magical items with no obvious use.
1- The stone.
This rock appears perfectly normal. However if you hold it in your hand and focus your mind on the rock for a few minutes you find are able to learn about the rock’s history. Being that it is a rock it has a very very very long history and 99.9% of what it remembers is shit that means nothing (rocks tend to think different things are important than people) If you try to trick it into telling you about something that happened within the last 100 years or something that took less than a few days to accomplish it fails.
2- The mana bank
This fairly generic gold ring has a few arcane looking markings on the inner edges. However a few of them appear partially worn off. This was originally designed to function as kind of a storage for magical energies… however after use the arcane markings that allowed it to give the energies back up wore off. The owner of this ring can choose to put minor charges into it. However there is no known way to get them back out. Attempts have been made to divine a way to fix the ring but none has been found
3- The paragon weed
There are a huge variety of these. These appear as a very healthy version of whatever weed they are the paragon of. They simply cannot be killed. If you cut them they grow back.. If you uproot it.. it takes root wherever you put it.. if you poison it… it grows back after the duration of the poison wears off ( most poisons claim to keep weeds away for less than a month)
4- A jar of nothing
This jar has absolutely nothing in it… and can never have anything in it. If you get the lid off you will find that not even air is inside it… but for some reason air dose not seem to rush into it. If you try to put something into it… the item will always seem to fail to enter the jar
5- a quarter
This appears to be a normal quarter. If you try to put it into any machine that takes change it will just fall out the change return. If the machine dose not have a change return the machine will act as if the quarter was not inserted
6- A really good book
This is a paper back novel entitled “A Really Good Book”. All the reviews on the back and internal covers give you no information about the plot other than the book is really good. The book takes can always be read in a single afternoon as long as the person reading the book is literate. While reading the book the reader is absolutely fascinated by the plot, characters and how well written the book is. As soon as the reader stops reading or finishes the book he immediately forgets everything about the book other than what page he was on and that it was a great book.
7- The flashlight of life
This flashlight is an orange plastic flashlight and takes 2 “D” cell batteries. It functions as a fairly normal flashlight with one difference. Every inanimate non-living object it shines on gains a mind, soul, and primitive sensory abilities. However no ability to move or communicate in any way is granted to these unfortunate beings. As a result rocks on the ground, boards, and trash often become sentient but helpless. They are eventually destroyed and they leave souls that tend to become pissed off demons
8- A Round Tuit
This is a wooden disk that says “A-Round-Tuit” on one side. It is about 1.5” across. When you pick this up you suddenly remember hundreds of little things that you were planning to do when you had a chance but forgot about and never did. This might seem useful except that the things you remember are all things which you can no longer do for some reason.
9- The wrong roll of film
Occasionally it happens that you take your film to get developed and you get someone else’s pictures instead. This time the pictures you get back are of some terrible event.. Possibly a murder, a fire, a building collapsing, a terrible storm…etc. However, these events never actually happened. If you take them to the police they might investigate but will find nothing and think it is some kind of a joke. These rolls of film are generated by idiots who have taken pictures of things which then were erased from history somehow. Usually the universe makes these go away but sometimes it gets lost in the details and things slip through
10- Cologne / perfume
This cologne will help you to seduce anyone you want. +10 to whatever skills you use to seduce them. It has the following limitations. It only works if you are doing this for no other reason than sex and it only helps to get that sex. Sex with anyone seduced in this way is just the worst sex ever. Both partners feel that they would have had a better time if they had just not bothered. Neither is actually hurt in any way.. just very disappointed
11- Goggles of fire
Appearing as regular goggles they pack a punch. Exactly 1 year after taking them off the wearer finds himself the target of a blast of fiery death. This dose gunshot fire damage. No source of the fire is ever located and no one is hurt but the target.
12- Broken clock
This clock never displays the correct time. If you watch it all the hands seem to move at exactly the correct speed and no mechanical or electrical problem exist. Any attempt to set it always results in the clock being at least one minute off. As soon as the clock is unattended for a while it moves to some totally random but incorrect time.
Any attempt to use this notebook for taking notes is a waste of time. When reviewing the notes at a latter time every number, name or fact you recorded will be incorrect. The handwriting is still yours and you still have a memory of taking the information down but everything is wrong.
14- Big book o information
These book are often used as a reference for those who don’t recognize them. Depending on the particular book they contain different information. The dictionary for example has definitions and the phone book has phone numbers. They contain all the information in their scope for the world… except for the one thing you need. For instance the phone book would have every a phone number in the world except for the one or ones you are looking for and the English to French dictionary would have every word but the ones you need at that moment. Electronic and cd versions of these are often available. The encyclopedia set is the most common
15- the potion of negation
this potion can be in any container with any label. When drank the recent past changes in such a way to prevent you from having ever drank the potion. By using it you prevent it from being used. You kinda remember having drunk it but also remember the circumstances that prevent you from having drank it. Essentially it negates it’s own consumption. All sorts of foods, drugs, and even toilet paper exist with this property.
vagina = fun! | profile | Oct 22, 04 | 12:38 am
Sounds like benign stuff found in Warehouse 23.
Saw a pointless Item on one of those faux-umentaries that Sci-fi keeps showing atm.
Miniature Wicker Zombu | profile | Oct 26, 04 | 11:50 am
16. I Know I Put It Over There
ChrisL | profile | Dec 17, 04 | 10:17 pm