More rumours

Rumours, lies and speculation. Admit it - you love these things.

If you deposit six hundred and sixty six dollars at an automatic teller at one minute past midnight, the devil can hear you talk to the machine. He’ll make it print the answer to a question on your receipt.

Ley lines are the remains of an alien mass-transit system. The pyramids still provide power to it, but some of the lines have shifted over time, and some are broken.

The Fortean Times is published solely so that the Secret Masters can see who might be interested in uncovering their secrets. If you’re serious about looking into weird stuff you shouldn’t read it. In fact, don’t even let a copy into your house.

None of the contestants on Survivor have birth certificates.

The Internet allows humanity to realise its true divine potential. All the countries on Nationstates.net exist in parallel universes, and everything ever said on the Net becomes true somewhere.

Bees know the secret of how the Universe was created. Honeycomb is actually a macro-scale sculpture of the lowest level of matter.

It’s not the Golden Arches that sucks your soul. It’s the Coffee Club. Seriously man, everyone knows that place is evil.

More people walk out of every ‘Personal Development’ seminar than walked in to it.

Street lights are actually spirits that have bound themselves to a certain spot to protect people. Anyone who’s ever knocked out a street light has killed an angel, and deserves to die for it.

Cities are proprietorial. You either own part of a city or it owns you. The homeless are the city’s slaves, and they don’t even know it.

Don’t ever eat your own thumb, man. Nasty shit happens. For starters, you don’t have a thumb any more…

There’s a guy on the Gold Coast who sells drugs that let you talk to ghosts. He’s always around during schoolies week.

There’s a secret cult that controls the city council. All the bus drivers are members.

Most buildings in the CBD have a human body sealed in their foundations. Late at night they talk to each other.