Unknown Armies

Rituals

Second Chance

With just thirteen corpses, you too can bring the dead back to life.

With just thirteen corpses, you too can bring the dead back to life.

It’s fairly simple, as rituals go. First, you must posses the brain (or whatever’s left of the brain) of the person to be brought back to life. The condition doesn’t matter, so long as you have all of that person’s existing grey matter.

Then, you must track down thirteen people of the same sex as the person to be brought back. They each must have known the person, and it would help if as many of them as possible were related to the person. These people need not be living, but none of them can have died before the subject did. Then, without letting any light that isn’t red touch the donors for the entirety of the process, you must remove a piece from each. You’ll need a head (with brain removed), a torso (with organs removed), two arms, three hands, two legs, two feet, a heart, and a set of eyes. Other than the eyes, each piece must come from a different donor. The eyes should be from the same person.

Stitch all the pieces together into a human body. Thread gold wire through the extra hand (one puncture at least every square inch), and sew it into the torso. Paint the alchemical symbols for the elements (all elements that have symbols, in the order presented on the periodic table of elements) on the cadaver, making sure to cover the face and hands as best as possible.

Take the now prepared cadaver, who maybe touched by non-red light at this point, and lay them naked in the exact spot and in the exact position that they died in. Hook up as strong source of electrical current (a car battery would do, but hooking them up to a stronger current would be preferable) to the cadavers temples and stab the cadaver in the stomach, piercing the hand that was sewn into the torso.

If you’ve succeeded, the person will scream from the pain of the stab and the electroshock. The body will be transformed to a duplicate of the subjects body, and the last thing it will remember is it’s death.

Now, after you take them to the hospital for a stab wound and electrical shock, you’ll have to explain to them how you maimed and probably killed thirteen people they know. As a side effect, any time the subject sneezes, everyone present with any magical ability at all also sneezes, in exact timing with the subject.

Morris | profile | Apr 05, 05 | 7:10 am

Visitor Comments

a car battery alone doesn't actually have enough current to shock someone. you can grab a post with each hand and it won't do anything.

deathmonkey | profile | Apr 05, 05 | 8:31 am

plus, you better wear thick, non-conductive gloves and/or shoes if you don't want to get the shit shocked of you yourself.

deathmonkey | profile | Apr 05, 05 | 8:33 am

I've studied alchemy; the Periodic table of the elements contains a few which weren't noted/created until long after their use of sigils to denote elementary traits was disused.

Other than that, and the electric potential of a car battery, this looks appropriately ghoulish enough to make the ultimate in proxy warfare.

Mr Unlucky | profile | Apr 05, 05 | 9:09 am

You'd think any sort of ritual to return a dead person to life would at the very least need one significant charge, and probably a lot more. Ten sounds like a good round number. You certainly can't call raising the dead minor under any circumstances.

I do like the red light restriction, though. Makes sense. Or perhaps I'm just crazy.

Unknown_VariableX | profile | Apr 05, 05 | 10:36 am

Nasty meat-marrionette of the dead... yummy...

But what if you don't kill the donors? (Doesn't apply to the head/torso guys.) Maybe they should suffer "phantom limb" sensory input for whatever it is that body part is doing at the moment...

Menzoa | profile | Apr 05, 05 | 3:22 pm

Seems like it would be easier to get a demon in a body than this. Because what other than a demon are you bringing back? I really like the sneezing bit though, seems really appropriete.

Huh, can you ressurect someone who isn't a demon? I thought there spirit just fled to where ever they go. Kaput.

Perhaps it requires a limited edition Periodic Table of Elements which contains all the proper sigils, that is only available by calling 1-800-225-8640 or 1-866-753-3737, for $3.33 but they only accept American Express for a print on demand copy.

Unfinishedbusinessman | profile | Apr 05, 05 | 11:33 pm

Okay, so I messed up on the car battery. But I *know* that there are a number of elements (and things that we used to consider elements, like, iirc, lime) that have sigils.

As for the cost, my logic was that you've maimed thirteen people, which has got to be good for something, but now that you mention it, A sig per persons body part (for a total of thirteen sigs) could work.

And regarding animating the dead that aren't demons... I did that on purpose. There's a reason they don't remember anything since their death. Take that as you will.

Morris | profile | Apr 06, 05 | 4:43 am

i don't know about it being the "ultimate in proxy warfare". seems extremely inefficient. if you want soldiers, it would be much easier to make simulacrums or homunculi. as for the car battery thing, you could us jumper cables while the car is running. that would work.

deathmonkey | profile | Apr 06, 05 | 8:36 am

"a car battery alone doesn't actually have enough current to shock someone"

It's Magic.

Galen | profile | Oct 07, 09 | 1:12 pm